TFA: Decipticons on the Couch

(All scenes take place with a psychiatrist's office with each Decepticon lying on a couch.  The doctor is sitting next to the couch with pen and clipboard, writing stuff.)

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Black Arachnia:  IT WAS HIS FAULT I'M THIS FREAK OF NATURE!!  I SWEAR I WILL KILL HIM!!!  But....what are these feelings I have for him....?  I know I only acted like that to trick him but....was it really to trick him?  Am I falling in love with the man who did this to me?!  I'm so confused...*hysterical crying*

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Cool Faced Bliztwing:  I don't really see the purpose of these sessions.  There is nothing wrong with me.
Flame Face:  And if you continue to babble on about it, I'll rip out your fleshy version of an oil pump and -
Crazy:  Call him George, and I'll hug him and squeeze him, and pet him and pet him and.....

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Lugnut:  You're puny, insignificant organic mind cannot possibly comprehend is the true, holy greatness that is MEGATRON!!  For he shall return to Cybertron, and he shall fire into the heavens a glorious beam a light, shining a swath into the blackness of space to guide all Decipticons back to our rightful home world and burn the infidel Autobots to smoldering ash!!!

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Starscream:  That fool Megatron thinks he has supreme command of the Decipticons only because of pure brute strength...BAH I say!  I takes far MORE than the ability to punch people in the face to be a leader!  Its takes skill, cunning, wisdom, and above all dashing good looks in order to lead our people to glory!  Why, I'd be TWICE the leader Megatron will EVER be if I had his strength!  Heck, I'd be able to shove right into his FACE!!  Though, not like I'd actually go into fisticuffs with him in the near future, that'd be suicide....

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Megatron:  How did I ever manage to take direct command over such a collection of malfunctioning glitch-heads.....